Observations by Jonar Nader » Language

Who can you trust?

Jonar Nader — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 11:37:17 +0000

Mr Escher showed us how the mind can slip and slide while trying to get a grip on reality. His drawings of stairs that go up, but really go down, when really going up, illustrate the kinds of gymnastics that my mind suffers when it sees statements from people like this tradesman who proclaims that he is an ‘honest man’. I have no reason to doubt him. He might well be honest. However, I just can’t work out how that statement could work in his favour.

Would a dishonest man not make such a statement? I just can’t rationalise how honest workers can ever get a fair go. Indeed, dirty rotten bastards are a dine a dozen, which makes it so much harder for honest people to be given a fair go. You see, dishonest people have more at their disposal. They can lie, cheat, forge, manipulate, and trick people into believing them. They can make all sorts of promises to clinch a deal. Whereas the honest person might seem less competitive with less on offer.

In the final analysis, I would advise against making such a statement. It raises more questions than it answers. I would rather deal honestly with people, and get them to appreciate my ethical behaviour, so that they can discover it by themselves. Otherwise, any boasting on my part might be met with suspicion.

The card goes on to offer free quotes and discounts. It seems too eager. Such enthusiasm is appealing. Sadly, it is also the mark of desperate man. And while this could all be a genuine attempt at trying to earn an honest living, it can also backfire. Why offer a discount when we have not yet discussed a job or a fee? The questions keep on oscillating to the point of dizziness. Will I or won’t I? Is he or isn’t he… who else is on the board?

Throwing words about

Jonar Nader — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 11:19:04 +0000

Restaurant owners are picking up bad habits from real-estate agents. This Indian restaurant offers free delivery. However, the restaurant prefers that you go and pick-up the order yourself. The incentive? A poppadom that is on the menu for fifty cents. So now we have to ask if a hungry busy executive is prepared to venture out in the rain for a poppadom. If the crunchy delight is so appealing, the client might push the boat out and spend another fifty cents, especially in view of the minimum order which must reach $25.00. What if the $25.00 had included a large serving of a poppadom. Is the offer transferrable to say a Mango Lassi or a naan bread? Perhaps not, given the price differentials.

So we have to wonder who thought of this incentive, and what the objective was, and how well it is working. By the way, whenever I see such amazing terms and conditions, I search for more, thinking that any menu or brochure that makes one daft offer, must indeed make other silly offers. The menu from the Indian restaurant did live up to my theory. It offered Googley Masala ‘cooked in herbs, spices in a special way’. It seems that they might have been lost for words. Is there no other way to describe the ‘special way’? Someone came to the rescue and nailed it. We are told that the dish is a ‘real delight for cricket lovers’. I wonder what’s on offer for opera buffs.

Colon cancer

Jonar Nader — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 12:57:42 +0000

Why do people feel compelled to pollute a sign with colons and dashes, especially when listing a phone number? If you walk past Beresford Hair studio, and you notice their sign, would you find it confusing to work out their phone number? They are one of the rare establishments who do not use a colon after the ‘ph’. If the simple method works perfectly well, why do people use dots and dashes when publicising their phone number? I just cannot understand what could be going through someone’s mind when they are at a keyboard, preparing the artwork for a sign or a brochure, and they consciously place all those punctuation marks. If they did it on purpose, what was their purpose? Below, you will fund a multitude of examples of unthinkers in action. If designers, managers, and business-owner do not stop to think about every aspect of the business, and do not learn to question things, they stand to live a life of mediocrity.

The following include innovations via the use of the dashes and full stops to replace the colon. Some designers felt that it would be better to use a space before and after the colon. The first image uses a full stop for the phone, yet a colon for the fax. The second is on a van for a house-design company. It makes me wonder how they design houses if all those dots and dashes appeals to them. The third one is for a restaurant whose owners are worried that if they write ‘Mon – Thur’ with instead of ‘Mon. – Thur.’ people would not know when the fruit salads are served. The fourth one is a laugh: what do they mean by inviting people to park, but then saying that their car will be towed away. By the way, have you read the fine print at your local parking station? At Secure Parking in Sydney, the terms of entry state, ‘We reserve the right to enter the Vehicle and move it. You agree that we have no liability for any loss of damage caused as a result of entering and moving the Vehicle.’ More about the practices of Secure Parking can be found here.

And the first prize goes to this company in Paris. The designers were so concerned about clarity, that they used both the full stop and the colon at the same time, while ignoring the fact that a scrunched-up number without any spaces makes numbers harder to read or remember. It was the French who announce phone number is two-digit bursts.